Dear Danny Cowley [Graphic Designer and Game Director; Eugene Emeralds]:
Good day, Sir! The last time we were together, we were closing a hipster speakeasy in the wee hours of the morning in Spokane, and the Eugene Emeralds were on their way to a High A West Championship. We were slamming some Norwegian liqueur that really made my head throb the next morning. A couple of nights night prior, we were daredevils riding electric scooters to bars on the distant horizon. I will have you know you have become somewhat of a legend in certain Low A West front offices because of a circulating video of someone with your likeness finishing a Beer Bat with one long pull in the Spokane Indians’ front office.
I am writing you to compliment you on the design of the Emeralds’ new jerseys for next season. Both the Green Retro and the Script Home are CRISP. I was going to order one of each today, but I was wondering if some championship merchandise will be coming soon also. Let’s face it, the postman has a hard time leaving the Ems’ front office in a quick manner, so I do not want him to have to make too many trips. Did Allan Benavides [General Manager] tell you of my t-shirt idea? The shirt would have a picture of Squatch on an electric scooter with the caption “I Risked HEAD TRAUMA to Ride with the Emeralds on their 2021 Championship Run.” Even if Allan does not let you print them in large quantities to see to the masses, perhaps you can print a few for those who were there in Spokane that week. Just bill my account.
Speaking of designing things, I bet you are excited with MiLB’s partnership with Marvel Entertainment. You will probably be able to create some killer t-shirt designs of Squatch kicking The Hulk’s ass, or Iron Man stuffing the Spokane’s Indians’ Recycle Man into a blast furnace. Perhaps Doctor Strange can teach Sluggo some arcane arts. Maybe you can cook up something with Loki and Allan Benavides, sporting his sweater vest. Thanos obliterating Hillsboro has charming possibilities also.
I can hear All now muttering, “Jesus Christ, it is not even Halloween and, Bads85 wants us to push the trademark limits with Marvel Entertainment.” Well, Allan, we really are not pushing anything; your graphic designer is creating art. Marvel will probably be very impressed and want to pursue your graphic designer’s vision even further. The very worst thing they will do is send your organization a strongly worded cease an desist letter. Ask me how I know! I get those all the time.
Hey, maybe Marvel Entertainment would be interested in being a corporate sponsor for the Emeralds’ new stadium. If we started circulating that rumor now, it would probably drum up some season ticket sales. More importantly, pressure could be applied to fine folk at the Lane Events Center to get the ball rolling in terms of stadium land. After all, Iron Man and Captain America have more clout than Squatch and Sluggo… for now.
Anyway, I have to run for now. The Wichita Wind Surge just will not leave me alone. I hope to discuss future Marvel plans soon. Give Allan a hug for me. He seemed a little down in the news release today.
Your friend in baseball,
Bads85
Dead Religions 