I Thank Ryan

Dear Ryan Moore [President; Myrtle Beach Pelicans]:

I am sorry we did not get to meet face to face when I visited your fine stadium last week, but the life of a minor league road warrior is not always smooth. We made the classic mistake of renting a VRBO in a really bad neighborhood of downtown Myrtle Beach and decided to hasten our departure from TicketReturn.com Field to fly to the safety of suburban Ohio rather than risked getting mugged or worse. We did immensely enjoy our time at the stadium, which exceeded even my expectations. It is definitely near the top of my RETURN VISIT list. 

Your staff is amazing, man. Every person I met (and I met many) was fantastic — from the sweet lady who helped us with our glitchy tickets to the hilarious elderly gentleman on elevator duty to the young gentlemen working the cash register in the team store, to our suite attendant, they were all great. Even my associates commented on the friendliness and competence of your staff. I did not even have the heart to take one of your really cool golf carts for a spin through the concourse as not to disrupt the flow of your operation.

Hey, I never spent my Splash Bucks. Can you please give them to a family for me? I am not going to make it back to Myrtle Beach this summer, so give them to someone who can use them. I did get my Pelicans’ jersey, and I do look smashing in it. More importantly, I received my Pelicans’ jersey before my Eugene Emeralds’ jersey, so you have that over Allan Benavides [General Manager; Eugene Emeralds]. That is almost as good as a Golden Bobblehead.

I did see you and Hunter Horenstein walking side by side on the field concourse. looking like two minor deities. I was going to call out from the suite, but someone in my group snuck in a flask, and it was my turn to take a nip of bourbon, then someone asked me a question, and by time I answered it, you guys were gone. Had I known we were not going to meet, I would have taken a deeper pull on the flask. 

My highlights of our visit:

  1. The fan engagement — Pelicans’ fans have fun. Earnest, engaging fun, not phony cruise ship, shuffleboard fun. 
  2. Hunter’s Knocker Ball call. You guys should put all those on your website.
  3. Your amazing team store. I spent a small fortune in there. 
  4. My brick. Looks good. Sexy even.

Honestly, I cannot get over how dialed in everything was that night. Most organizations are scrambling to get back to normalcy this summer, and you guys were knocking everything out of the park. From here on out, I am using you guys as the gold standard for MiLB — every organization should aspire to be like you guys. “Toe the Pelican Line”, I will tell them.

There was one snafu that you might want to fix immediately — your link on the 50/50 raffle goes to a dead page. Imagine the disappointment of my crew trying to check our numbers over tequila sunrises in Columbus, Ohio the next morning. Someone might write you guys a letter. There are a lot of kooks on the internet these days.

Your friend in baseball,


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