Dear Anna Forslin [Promotions Manager; Inland Empire 66ers]:
Congratulation on the success of the Inland Empire 66ers’ first Michelada Monday at El Patron in Downtown Riverside last night. Of course, a great deal of the success was due to my presence because of what I bring to a room. I bet you did not know this, but not only am I a Thirsty Thursday Ambassador, but also a Michelada and Margarita Maestro. I eagerly await the next Michelada Monday at Mr. Taco in Redlands next week. I plan on bringing a rather large contingent as there will be a Down East Wood Ducks Southern California Backers, Sons of Vengeance Chapter meeting just before your organizations gets busy fueling the fun.
I do have a few suggestions for next week:
- As discussed in great detail last night, make sure you include margaritas on this special day.
- Make sure Sean Peterson [Director of Ticket Operations and Sales; Inland Empire 66ers] is present as this will be a good time to sell some mini-packs. I can show him my “Drink Through Your Eyeball” trick that everyone loves to see at parties. Bring others from your staff also. Remind them this is a party, and what else are they going to do on their mundane Monday night?
- Make sure to tell all your guests to wear 66ers’ gear. Let your merchandise advertise your you. When the other customers at Mr. Taco see our raucous group, they are going to realize their lives are a morass of despair and will want desperately to being in our group. That is when Sean swoops in for the sale.
- Invite the front office staff of others teams to this event. Even if they do not come because of distance, THE WORD will spread. We post some outrageous pictures on social media from our event, and other organizations will be thinking, “Man, those 66ers have it going on this year. I wonder if they are hiring.” I will drop Hunter Horenstein [Director of Fan Engagement; Myrtle Beach Pelicans] a line. Maybe Allan Benavides [General Manager; Eugene Emeralds] will fly down and stay with GM Joe.
- Start advertising the event immediately. Hammer it all week. Maybe even send emails to season ticket holders because let’s face it, many of them never made it past setting the clock on their VCRs in terms of technological adeptness.
- Perhaps you can bring a poster board of the Cherubs’ logo. Give graphic design something to do this week; maybe even have them design Michelada and Margarita Monday t-shirts.
- Get a local celebrity to make an appearance. If you can’t get one at this late notice, put an intern in a El Cucuy costume. I bet Harrison Ford is not doing anything next Monday though. Reach out to him to tell him I will be there, and we can drink Mind Erasers like we did when we were just kids in Hollywood.
I must commend you on the Cherub identity for What Could Have Been Night. I will admit upon first glance I thought there were going to be a rapid increase of shallow graves on the outskirts of town because I am a looking forward kind of guy instead of looking to the past loser. However, you pitched the idea very well, and I could see your VISION. Little Angels! In The Dino! This has Golden Bobblehead potential with a few additions.
We should show what really would have happened in San Bernardino had GM Joe followed Brandiose’s advice by turning San Manuel into a dystopian nightmare complete with burning structures and roaming mobs looking for something else to kick. The 66ers were fresh off a Cal League championship in 2014. Had your organization abandoned the 66ers’ logo, the dead would have risen from the graves to join with the living in demanding the blood of those in charge. Fortunately, GM Joe had the wisdom to reject Brandiose’s baby with the bow, and San Bernardino remains the idyllic paradise it is today. A taco truck or two might be in order for this special night also. Will the Beer Mile be that night?
One other promotion idea before I go: Buster Olney Play In Traffic Night.
Your friend in baseball (and Micheladas),