Dear Anna Forslin {Promotions Manager; Inland Empire 66ers]:
I recently took it upon myself to broker peace between minor league organizations feuding over stadium scoreboards because as you well know, I am all about tranquility (except when Quakes’ fans sit near me). I started looking for images of the outstanding scoreboard at San Manuel Stadium, and quickly found that there are not many images out there that capture the true essence of San Manuel Stadiums enormous, but practical scoreboard. I suggest that you rectify this immediately by sending some interns into right field to shoot some quality pictures so most minor league organizations can realize their scoreboards are inadequate, even with their fancy high resolution screens. When the interns are finished, send them out to Alanberto’s get some burritos for the staff. You all have earned it — except for that one guy.
I have a couple of question about the 909/951 hats that are being distributed on June 6th. Would it not be better to have the Veteran’s Hat promo on that night since it is the D-Day Anniversary and switch the 909/951 hat giveaway to May 9th? Also, are you trying to get the season ticket holder base killed with the 909/951 hats? Those things are straight gangsta. Sean Peterson [Director of Ticket Operations and Sales; Inland Empire 66ers]’s job is hard enough without the 66ers boosters’ taking led for their hats. However, if GM Joe signed off on this thing, well give them away to everyone, and I will take two as they are bad ass hats.
Any word if the merchandise people have ordered any new polos for this year? I desperately need a modern 66ers’ polo, and we all know that 2019 Cal League All Star jersey is not walking itself down to Section 102? Do the 66ers even have a merchandise person this season, or is someone, probably you, having to take on extra responsibilities? Since I am a slave to fashion, I could be an adviser in some capacity. Things would pop in that team store if I were king. First order of business would EXPANSION.
So I am thinking the 66ers should make Tuesday, April 21st Hunter Horenstein [Director of Fan Engagement; Myrtle Beach Pelicans] Night. Not much else is going to be going on that night, so we flash his picture on the screen, read a bit of his bio that I crafted, and then promote Thirsty Thursdays (after consulting with my wife, I give the 66ers permission to use my likeness to promote that Holy Day). The next Tuesday game can be Allan Benavides [General Manager; Eugene Emeralds] Night. This will almost certainly have no effect on attendance, but it will help you establish a stronger network with your peers so when we go to the MiLB Innovators’ Summit in Winston-Salem next year, we will have more options in terms of drinking, plus some of these people vote for the Golden Bobbleheads.
Why isn’t the Black Keys “Gotta Get Away” ever played at games? It has San Berdoo right in the chorus! I strongly suggest that your organization freshens up the music this year. You might not know this, but San Bernardino has a strong history of rock ‘n roll. The Rolling Stones played their first North American show at Swing Auditorium. The Clash broke up in the North End on stage at the US Festival. I do not think local boy Sammy Hagar is doing anything these days; perhaps he can play a Thirsty Thursday. At the very least, we can drink some of his tequila.
I would also to request my own walk up music for when I enter the stadium. I can text your PA Dude when I get close to the Season Ticket Holder gate, and he can blast the opening of Led Zeppelin’s “Kasmir”, and people will know I have arrived. I can mix up the songs as the season progresses to keep things fresh. I might even take requests from the 66er’s front office.
Your friend in baseball,
Bads85
PS: Hunter Horenstein [Director of Fan Engagement; Myrtle Beach Pelicans] Night! Make it happen! I cannot wait to send a missive to tell him the news!
Dead Religions 