Dear Sean Peterson [Director of Ticket Operations and Sales; Inland Empire 66ers]:
Good to hear from you, Rock. I must say, I was a bit disappointed that I was not invited to the California League meetings this week, being the Thirsty Thursday Ambassador, but then I saw it was in Visalia, and I was thankful. Do they still have a tattoo parlor at Rawhide Park? Nothing succinctly defines the city quite like that. “Come for the game; go home with ‘Mom’ on your bicep.” I am sorry you had to venture to that agricultural mecca, but I am sure Joe Hudson [General Manager; Inland Empire 66ers] awarded you combat pay after giving his staff a rousing inspirational speech. At least you did not have to go to Modesto.
I am not really surprised my named came up at the Cal League meetings as I am kind of a big deal. I would have loved to see the expression on GM Joe’s face if he were around. I would guess Taylor McCarthy [General Manager; Stockton Ports] dropped my name. Word on the street is he is going to give me a 2020 California League All Star polo. I am glad Taylor had the opportunity do slam some SHOTS! with the 66ers’ front office. I hope everyone handled their liquor well as I have a reputation to maintain. Did you happen to ask Taylor how is organization sells so many tickets on Mondays — like almost 1,000 more a game than the 66ers? I bet the answer is BEER DISCOUNTS.
Were any Rancho Cucamonga Quakes’ execs around when my name came up? You might find this hard to believe, but I do not get along with those people. Did you know I purchased a mini plan from them last season just so they had to call me a season ticket holder? I only went to a few of the games because they are Professional Sports Catering chumps, meaning the concession lines stretch to West Covina, as if the stadium is not claustrophobic enough. Did you know that most of their full season ticket holders are convicted white collar felons? This year and every year forward they will have to call me “former season ticket holder.”
Did they give you guys donuts in the morning as you sat in the meetings? I saw some pictures on social media of the Eastern League meetings, hosted by the Hartford Yard Goats who play at Dunkin Donut Park, and there were no donuts. I mean, just what the fuck is that? Donuts and minor league baseball meetings are a holy marriage of everything that is good in this world. Not having donuts at these meetings is an affront to the baseball gods. If the Rawhide did not serve you guys good donuts, I will have to have a frank discussion with Jennifer Reynolds [General Manager; Visalia Rawhide]. We are not simple savages in the California League, and those who came before us sacrificed too much to forgo donuts at League meetings. Never forget, Rock, never forget.
Your friend in baseball,