Dear Sean Peterson [Director of Ticket Operations and Sales; Inland Empire 66ers]:
It was good to hear from you, Rock. I thought maybe Joe Hudson [General Manager; Inland Empire 66ers] had you chained to a wall in the visitor’s locker room because he is upset about being in last in the California League for Monday ticket sales. Let me say this one more time: the 66ers need a better promotion than Man’s Best Friend Monday. First of all, it is lousy alliteration. Secondly, no one win there right mind would bring their dog to The Dino. Mayhem Monday, Rock. Make it Happen.
Don’t think I did not see you cleverly bury the lede in your missive: Daniel Vazquez [Assistant General Manager; Inland Empire 66ers]. I must say I am a little taken aback that I was not on the interview panel, but life moves pretty fast in the minor leagues, and GM Joe probably thought my social calendar was full — he was correct, of course. He always is, except that time he signed off on the Duck Dynasty/Mountain Man Meet and Greet. What a disaster that was.
Has this Daniel Vazquez heard of me yet? Should I introduce myself through a missive? I see he is from the the San Antonio Missions. I was attending games at Nelson W. Wolff Municipal Stadium when this guy was still shitting green in his diapers. They have a great between inning promotion —- a mascot race where the kid tackles the mascot (Henry the Puffy Taco) and beats the shit out of Henry. Maybe this new assistant GM can breather some life into the 66ers tired mascots. It has been a long time since Bernie shot The Baseball Bug with a rifle atop the dugout.
Hey, since the boss is away this week, maybe I will stop by San Manuel Stadium with a bottle of good bourbon, and we can sit in the executive luxury suite until we drink enough to have to take a Lyft home. Maybe we can pay the G Street hobos a bit of cash to play catch and run around the bases so we can pretend winter is not approaching. Or maybe we can just drink and work on improving the stadium music for next season and prank call Adam Franey [Former Director of Promotions; Inland Empire 66ers].
I bet we can find a 2019 California League All Star Game polo around the offices somewhere.
Your friend in baseball,