Austin Wants Me To Come Have Beers, But I Cannot

Dear Austin Schwartz [Vice President, Sales & Marketing; Fayetteville Woodpeckers]:

Thank you for the invitation to join you at Healy’s tonight for beers. Unfortunately, my busy travel schedule does not allow me to be in Fayetteville tonight. I am off to the Old World on Sunday, and I really do not know what to wear, although I will have my ‘Pecker hat. I am also trying to squeeze in a Vegas run this Friday to make it to the new baseball stadium there, but I am not sure how happy the wife is going to be about that. Fear not though, I will still be at Segra Stadium July 12th.

What time does the team shop open on game day? I am probably going to be rolling in a with a crew that has piles of cash to spend, but they are not going to want to wait in lines likes peasants. Yes, Austin, I will be bringing serious revenue to the park because that is just what I do. Joe Hudson [General Manager; Inland Empire 66ers] was caught openly weeping because I will not be around San Manuel Stadium for about six weeks.

Some of these guys are going to be coming down all the way from DC; maybe even farther as this could be the social event of the season. Some of them live right in your backyard. Most of them are VIP types, so you might want to invite Mayor Mitch to the game so we can down some Alabama Slammers. We were thinking about having a NC style barbeque at the Cape Fear Botanical Gardens, but thought the locals might frown upon that. Any suggestions close to Segra Stadium? Nick really want to char some meat. One of my guys has one of those Chinese barbecue boxes where you can cook a pig.

I am assuming security will be more than adequate for this game. Bu time I roll into Fayetteville, I am certain that the crowd of groupies following me will have grown exponentially, and I would hate to see a repeat of what went down in Erie, PA back in in 2004. By all means allow these people in the stadium, but keep them away from the luxury boxes and the handicap restroom stalls.

I have to run. Somebody gave me a tip on how to be selected to throw out a first pitch at Segra Stadium.

Your friend in baseball,


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