Dear Jerry McDonald {Yellow Crayons Graphic Designs Shop; Fayetteville, NC]:
I hope all is well with you, but fear you might have run afoul of the Morality Goons who wish to ensure Peckerville never rises. I mean, we were all set to make you boatloads of money, like Korean coal tanker type amounts of cash, but you have dropped off the radar this week. Perhaps you have gone underground, chased by dangerous purists backed by faceless corporate money. Perhaps they reached you already, scaring you into silence. Perhaps your corpse is rotting in a landfill. Perhaps you are just on a wicked cocaine bender, washing that blow down with scotch and shots of gorilla pukes like real graphic designers are prone to do. Or perhaps you just think that Bads85 might be a little bit dangerous, unhinged in a scary sort of way.
I will tell you this, Jerry. I wake up every morning feeling dangerous these days — that is just the Cleveland Browns’ fan in me. It is a curse, passed on from generation to generation, but that really does not have much to do with our possible business venture. Plus, I really want those shirts. I mean, I could get them made at any t-shirt place, but I do not want to step on the turf of the genius behind Peckerville — professional courtesy and all.
If you do not want to go forward with the shirts, I understand and will find someone else. When I am in Fayetteville later this summer in July, I will stop by the Yellow Crayon and purchase a “Peckerville” shirt — I will be wearing my “Fear the Wood! Respect the Pecker!” shirt , and most likely have a legion of fans following me like I am a prophet of something. Maybe we will chit chat. My wife says I am the Forrest Gump of the minor leagues, but deep down she is excited that she is married to a smoke jumper of the Devil’s Arcade.
If you want to get busy designing shirts and making enough money to pay for Elizabeth Warren’s college debt forgiveness, well, let’s start taking. I have other ideas also — big ideas, but let’s start with this very nice sounding slogan: “Fear the Wood! Respect the Pecker!”
Your friend in baseball,
Bads85
Dead Religions 