Dear Wade Howell [Vice President; Down East Ducks and Hickory Crawdads]:
I hope Opening Weekend is going well for you. You guys led the Carolina League in attendance last night! Of course there were only two games because of inclimate weather, but technicalities do not matter in the minors. The weather looks better tonight, so hopefully some Pepsi guzzling fools will flock to Historic Grainger Stadium to chase that sugar high. Giving away t-shirts usually helps too.
The weather has put a damper on the start of the California League also. Only one game in the league has cracker 4,000 in attendance, and that was those fools in Lancaster who were hoping the fireworks would light the outfield wall on fire again. GM Joe of the 66ers was sort of grumpy last light. Not at me because I bring light to his world, but at his employees and life in general. I think he misses Bongwater. Some nights Bongwater used to sing.
It did not help that the bartender in the first base dugout bar (called The Garage because the 66ers are all about cars because of Route 66) dropped a full bottle of tequila shortly after the season ticket holders’ gate open at 5:30 PM. All that wasted liquor brought tears to our eyes, but we did not start sobbing until we found out were were being charged twelve bucks for a shot of Gentlemen’s Jack. We were strong soldiers though and had two!
I know this is your quiet time before the game when yo catch your breath, the time after the gates open, but before the National Anthem when you feel confident the fry cook isn’t going to light his hair on fire. Stay well and don’t forget to send fan pictures.
Your friend in baseball,
PS: My buddy Whiskey Jack bought a Woodies jersey the other night. The West Coast Movement grows!