Dear Jeff Di Giorgio [Vice President of Sales, San Jose Giants]:
So are the Rotten Robbie tickets a thing this year? Mr. Cheery is a planner.
I must say your the generosity in your response was delightfully unexpected. Perhaps I will indeed make the trip to San Jose this year after all — it beats driving to Boise, Grand Junction, or Idaho Falls to witness that type of stadium architecture. I must advise you though that my loyalties are not for sale, and that life too is too short to sit in Rotten Robbie seats.
Wade Howell [Vice President; Down East Ducks and Hickory Crawdads] offered to let me throw out the first pitch when I visit his park in Kinston, NC. Jacqueline Holm [General Manager; Quad City River Cats] inadvertently made me an official candidate for her open Assistant GM position, but there was no way in hell I was moving to Davenport, Iowa. Austin Schwartz [Vice President; Sales & Marketing; Fayetteville Woodpeckers] recently offered me the world, but our relationship seems to have become icy of late, probably because he is tired of me referring to his team as the ‘Peckers. I presented the guy with one of the greatest team slogans ever: “Fear the Wood! Respect the ‘Pecker!”, but a few weeks later it appears he has forgotten my name.
Normally when I see a game as a guest of the front office, we hang out in a luxury box, drinking quality scotch like real minor league executives do. I am not sure if San Jose Municipal Stadium has luxury boxes, but we could slam a healthy amount of quality beer in the Martinelli’s VIP Deck. Or an unhealthy amount of cheap beer. Whatever the case, I am sure will share stories of the minor league road, and make fun of lesser California League organizations like the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes. We can wave to Mr. Cheery and the other peasants in the Rotten Robbie Seats.
In all seriousness now, thanks you for the offer to come to your park. I really would like to get up there this season. I see that you guys to Pack the Park Nights – the 66ers do also, and they have partnered with my school (yes, when I am not a smoke jumper in the devil’s arcade, I am a teacher), and we have had many Pack the Parks over the years. I would be interested in sharing successes and failures with you to improve our turnout. And as luck would have it, the 66ers play the Giants on our Pack the Park Night on April 30th.
Anyway, I know you are busy with the season’s start next week. Hope your sales are strong.
Your friend in baseball,
PS: No Life ‘Til Leather was a very long time ago. Were you even alive when that came out?