Fear The Wood! Respect The Pecker!


      Quick note as I ride the tram into Disnelyland. My son informed me that there was an embarrassing typo in my last missive. My editor, Joe Bivens, is off for the holidays. I apologize for the lack of proper proofreading, but as you can tell, I am a busy man.
     My buddy Nick just forwarded me some sort of letter from your organization saying your offices are closed until January 3rd. I know a hard charging guy like yourself will be working through your vacation, just like me. I mold young minds for a living, Austin, but not over holiday break.
      Upon further reflection, I agree that rebranding the team to the Peckerwoods would be a hasty decision at this time. There is no need to incur additional merchandising expenditures with the team launch just down the road. However we can start laying the foundation for the rebranding as the season approaches while the official “unofficial” name of Peckerwoods spreads like a California wildfire (too soon? Perhaps, but this is a savage industry).
      Let’s talk about fear for a bit, my new acquaintance. Fear is a swell motivator and is certainly never boring, but it is a one dimensional tool. We want the masses to do more than fear us, Austin. We want them to respect us. Fear without respect is an unsustainable power structure. Sure, the environmentalists might make some jump through bureaucratic hoops, but nobody respects them, so it is just a matter of time before some dude that works with my buddy Nick enters a woodpecker reserve with a flame thrower and torches the protected lands. We don’t want that to happen to your (our) brand, Austin.
      Please allow me to offer you a marketing strategy that will certainly make you minor league executive of the year and even get on Ben’s Minor League blog. I am giving you this information to show you my cred in this industry. Do with it what you will. Your destiny is in your hands. You can lead a minor league exec to merchandising Mecca, but you can’t make him pull his head out of a spreadsheet. Are you ready? Here goes:
Fear the Wood!
Respect the Pecker!
      Let that set in. That noise you are hearing is the cash registers ringing as you sell t-shirt after t-shirt. The marketing possibilities are almost limitless, but we can discuss that later. I need to get through the Disney security checkpoint now. I hope they are not too invasive.
       Oh, I have named my self the unofficial West Coast Peckerwood Ambassador. I am sure you won’t mind since I just made you rich. I am wearing the Peckerwood hat at Disneyland today!
Your friend in baseball,

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s