Browns at Niners — over/under of Oz Junx getting tossed from the game — 14:38 in the third quarter.
The weather in SF looks as shitty as the weather here. How much must Californians suffer?
Hardesty running on first down. Here we go again. 40 more of those, and he will have 40 yards rushing.
Browns turnover — that OzJunx under is looking good.
Niners waste a timeout — Browns’ ineptness is a secret weapon.
Nightmare on Elmstreet on Hawaii Five-O. We live in a wonderful country.
Browns down 7-0. I don’t think that was in the game plan. Comeback Mccoy will rise to the occasion.
Cribbs to the 30 on the return. There’s a glean, men.
Crazy Legs McCoy scrambles for the first down.
Almost a McCoy INT. I am so glad I didn’t drive up for that game.
Great punt for the Browns. The battle of field position starts now.
Lost the DTV connection for a bit. I am sure I missed an exciting Browns offense explosion. Sadly, I am disappointed. However, this is the Age of Taking Action! Gore stuffed! Take that, Frank.
Alex Smith is carving up the Browns’ defense. Glad I started him in my fantasy league. Yes, I am fully cognizant that makes me a bad fan. However, the Browns are a bad team, so fuck them. My therapist says this is progress.
17-0 Niners. Seneca Wallace, the Browns kingdom turn its lonely eyes to you. Hell, the Muppets’ drummer might be an improvement over McCoy. Wait, the replays gods deny the touchdown. Browns defense holds! Haurbaugh is an idiot for not kicking the FG. Go shake someone’s hand, Dipshit. And the Niners waste a timeout with a failed challenge. The worm has turned!
Joe Thomas saves the Browns by recovering the Waiver Wire’s fumble.
When I think Artisan pizza, I think Domino’s, just like when I think quality movies, I think the new Footloose.
Now it is 17-0 for reals. The Browns’s secondary is turning Smith into Joe Montana.
Hardesty out. Parade in Cleveland to follow.
Free Wallace!
Dawson FG — Five more of those, and the Browns win 18-17. Shots!
Second half is starting well.
Obannaya for mayor! Frank Jackson should be worried. Well, maybe not. Browns’ punt because of goofy play calling.
A faux fumble briefly raises false hope. However, the Browns defense holds.
McCoy throws an INT into double coverage. Hey, Colt, the Niners wear red jeseys; your team wears white.
Bobby just asked if the Niners clinch the NFC West with a win day. Perhaps, Bobby, perhaps.
Jordan Norwood, where have you been all season? Massaquoi, learn the story of Wally Pipp.
I am convinced that soft hands in the NFL is a sign of a receiver who is a sociopath. Anyone who can ignore tha pain of the incoming hit is not right. My example: Hines Ward — that guy goes home and tortures puppies.
What is Tebow’s QB ranking today? Hint: real bad.
McCoy fumbles for the third time. He has recovered two of them, keeping Wallace on the bench. McCoy sacked hard.
McCoy TD pass. Our long national nightmare is over.
Browns lose. C.C. Sabathia opts out of his Yankee contract and returns to the Indians. Shots!
Dead Religions 
Sabathia: “I am blessed by baseball. I have done it all. I made $24.3 million last year. I was a 1ST Round pick. I am a 20-game winner. I was an all-star. I won the Cy Young award. I won a world series. I will be in Cooperstown. With all my successes something still gnaws at me. Somehow my career feels “incomplete”. I will fill a huge void in my psyche and return to Cleveland for a season alongside great ones Rob Bryson, Zach Jackson, Michael Brantley and the immortal Matt LaPorta. I want to experience playing alongside baseball’s true legends. What’s that? Cashman is offering $30 million on line 1? Tell him to stick it. What’s a one bedroom go for on E. 155th & St. Clair?”