Los Angeles Dodgers’ GM Ned Colletti’s name has surfaced as a candidate for the Cubs’ GM position now that genius Jim Hendry was sent packing. Colletti deflected those questions, saying, “Look, I escaped from that organization with my life years ago; I have no intention of going back. Things might be a mess here in Los Angeles, but the Cubs are the Cubs, plus their fans are unwashed.”
Frank and Ned --- Before Things Went South
When told of the rumors, Frank McCourt replied, “Really? God, I hope he leaves; it will save me the PR hit from firing him. I am sure these rumors are just media speculation since Colletti grew up in that flyover town — not even the Cubs would want Colletti. However, a man can dream. Sometimes I dream about Tweeter. Sometimes I dream about Jan. Sometimes I don’t dream about nothing but the Monkey Man.”
When told of McCourt’s comments, Collett replied, “Well, fuck him. He is just mad about the Trayvon Robinson deal. He is too busy suing his lawyer to realize that Robinson has struck out sixteen times times in the Bigs while only walking once. Ron Barajas won’t be around forever. I did the right thing! Maybe I will go to Chicago. They have an ample minor league system to plunder. I bet I could get Orlando Cabrera real cheap.”
Dead Religions 