It Could Have Been Worse

Even though the Cleveland Indians lost again in late innings, perhaps falling out of the division race before Ubaldo Jimenez even takes the mound, they dodged a fatal bullet this Wednesday when Matt Stairs retired. “I am crushed,” said a mournful Chris Antonetti. “He would have been the perfect complement for our anemic bench and would fill the veteran presence hole I created when I finally gave up on Orlando Cabrera. Austin Kearns and Stairs would have been a bitchin’ platoon. Neither one can field or hit anymore, but they have name recognition.”

On another note, the Baseball Hall of Fame’s Veterans’ Committee announced it was electing Drew Pomeranz into the Hall this week in a special election. “It is just a matter of time anyway,” said a member who wanted to remain anonymous. “Now that he is out of Cleveland, his immortality is inevitable.”

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