I Wish Hunter A Happy Birthday

Dear Hunter Horenstein [Director of Fan Engagement; Myrtle Beach Pelicans]:

Happy Belated Birthday, my favorite Director of Fan Engagement of the Carolina League! I feel bad for being a bit late, but as you probably know, I have been rather busy lately planning my Cactus League trips. I was hoping Wade Howell [Vice President; Down East Wood Ducks and Hickory Crawdads] would join my crew this year, but he says he has to power wash Historic Grainger Stadium those weekends. Since people are coming in from all over the country four our trips, the logistics are quite daunting, but I am a very diligent planner who looks upon the various scheduling as a labor of love.

Have you ever been to the Cactus League, Hunter? It is the most holy of baseball pilgrimages, and also the most savage. It is a rite of rebirth through a baptism of fire. Souls in danger became souls saved and vice versa. The road to rebirth is often accompanied by a pounding to the liver. Memories are created, and character is shaped. Most importantly, there are the crack of bats and the snapping of the leather. Maybe one year you can join us when you have journeyed a little further down the baseball road.

I ventured to California Winter League in Palm Springs last weekend, which is billed as the Prequel to Spring Training. It might be the lowest rung on the prospect ladder, but the baseline chalk is white, and beer is sold. It is a place to meet baseball junkies who just cannot wait until the MLB camps open for their fix. Many of these junkies are the truly demented type who have given up on any sort of salvation and know they do not have too many more seasons in the sun, so they better get to as many games as possible before they shuffle off this mortal coil.

But enough talk about my adventures. How is the promotion schedule coming along? Will there be anything vibrantly new at TicketReturn.com Field at Pelicans’ Ballpark the season? Any exciting new food items? I sure hope your staff is looking towards the future because as the guy on the radio says, nostalgia, she is a shit disease.

Hey, did you know I entered that contest during CubsCon to win a trip to Myrtle Beach? I did not win, but that is okay because just entering a Pelicans’ fan contest is its own reward. In case you have not noticed, I have become a pretty big fan of the Pelicans. I do not want any koozies or anything because if you need a koozie, you are not drinking fast enough. I am contemplating purchasing a Pelicans’ hat, but your team store has so many selections, I am experiencing paralysis by analysis, which can be fatal on the minor league circuit. Perhaps you can choose one for me, and when people ask were I found that sharp lid I can say Hunter Horenstein picked it out for me. I will surely be the envy of the California League. 

Anyway, I need to go to bed because tomorrow is Hockey Night in Anaheim. I wish I had a Pelicans’ long sleeve t-shirt to wear under my Montreal Canadiens’ jersey, but I will probably wear my Wood Ducks one to match my hat. I hope you had good birthday. Perhaps you even received a new pair of burgundy pants.

Your friend in baseball,


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