Dear Ben Hughes [Manager, Marketing & Communications; Fayetteville Woodpeckers]:
Hello from your favorite minor league minor league ambassador! It has been a while since my party was asked to leave the Aevex Veterans’ Club at your fine Segra Stadium, and I hope all is well with the ‘Peckers’ crew. I assume you guys have straightened that one crooked TV in the club because you guys are sticklers for details, and nothing says rookies with a new stadium than a crooked TV in the luxury suite. You will not fin any crooked TVs in the splendid bar the Wood Ducks have down in Kinston because Wade Howell [Vice President] runs a tight ship. Did you know he has sold out his outfield wall signage at Historic Grainger Stadium?
I have finally returned to California after many miles on the road, and I must say I appreciate the warm welcome your organization presented to my family and friends. I am writing you instead of Austin Schwartz [Vice President; Sales and Marketing; Fayetteville Woodpeckers] because upon meeting the two of you, he seems like the numbers guy while you are the Big Idea type, plus you talked to me much longer than he did.
With only eighteen home games left in the season, your organization has reached the last meaning marketing stretch of the season. While the inaugural season of Segra Stadium has been a smashing success, August is the month that is the cornerstone for ticket sales for the 2020 campaign. A happy August customer is a returning April customer, and a potential future season ticket holder. I am not sure if they teach that type of stuff in sports marketing classes these days, but you do learn the nuggets of wisdom while you are on the road.
Because I feel we bonded with our conversation in the concourse of Segra Stadium (and because my son took a very healthy dump in your front office bathroom), I will give you a little marketing idea for August free of charge because I am a giver. Since the season is coming rapidly to an end, your organization needs to push a LAST CHANCE campaign. Once September arrives, those who have not made it to the stadium will be forever denied entrance to the Inaugural Season because those only happen once in the lifetime of a stadium. Fear of being left out is a powerful marketing tool. Remind the masses that the end is near, and they best get to the park, or they will have to walk through this life with the bitter knowledge that they did not attend the inaugural season. Memes are a perfect way to convey this message because they are like gentle pinpricks on the soul.
I would get the Big Brass to approve some discounts for next year with an August ticket stub, say 2% off new season tickets plans. Maybe promise a free ticket for next season on Monday-Wednesday nights with an August ticket stub. This gets people to the park both this year and next year with a very small priming of the pump. I bet Mark Zarther [President; Fayetteville Woodpeckers] will be impressed, which means a larger holiday bonus for you.
I need to get going because it is Thirsty Thursday, and I have been away from my peeps at San Manuel Stadium too long. I see your Star Wars Night is Friday, so let’s raise our glasses to toast that Han shot first!
Your friend in baseball,
PS: LAST CHANCE! Two syllables, infinite returns.