Dear Jerry McDonald [Yellow Crayon Graphic Design]:
It greatly pleases me that you have chosen to embrace the endeavor of creating the “Fear the Wood! Respect the Pecker!” t-shirts. Finally, the city of Fayetteville will receive the shirt and anthem it rightfully deserves. People from all over Cumberland County will be able to wear these shirts with an amour de soi usually not found in an area with such pedestrian median property values.
While I completely respect your creative freedom, I hope I will not too bold in offering some suggestions as I have traveled across this land to many a minor league park and am confident I have my finger on the pulse of the Carolina League fan. To be blunt, we need a bad ass red-cockaded woodpecker, but not some faux hard caricature of a bird with the grimace that one only gets when one is passing a kidney stone. The minor leagues have enough of that thanks to Jason and Casey and Brandiose Branding. We need our ‘Pecker to be hard, but true, not some steroid injected bird with bulk. We should attempt to capture the sleekness of a ‘pecker in its natural state, and maybe since Fayetteville is a military town, arm the little dude with an M-60 machine gun. I will leave that little detail to your discretion.
The bat is very important also as the wood must be elegant and true. It probably should glisten as if it has been polished with great care. It should not be something crass like Robert DeNiro used in The Untouchables, but something magnificent like King Arthur were used if he decided that some of the knights around his Round Table needed a bit of head thumping, especially that Sir Gawain guy.
Anyway, I am sure we will confer more in the immediate future, but there is a burrito calling me right about now, and it is getting impatient.
Your friend in baseball,