Sunday Morning Blogging (11/20)

The worst part about Christmas is the jewelry store commercials. If every kiss begins with “K”, you are doing it wrong.

The Oregon clock management at the end of that debacle was criminal. Why does the Pac 12 insist on hiring stooges as head coaches?

Many would consider football a second rate sport—- a sport that attracts the hillybilly element, especially in the South. The SEC is nothing more than a NASCAR pile up because someone threw a pigskin on the track.

A cynic might say, “Every kiss begins an exchange of money.” Not in the SEC—- sisters wake brothers in the middle of the night with the slip of the tongue.

Tommy Lee Jones is looking plastic these days. I suppose that is better than Tommy Lee of Motley Crue looks like. Speaking of the Crue, what are the odds that guys with rare names like Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars would run into Lee to form a band?

If the words “fire” and “love” were not in the English vernacular, would Don Dokken have been able to write any songs?

Clock management often dictates play calling. Numbnuts was too worried about keeping USC on their heels than use a timeout and allow his offense to throw the ball without being on the back of their heels. Because of that, Oregon was playing for a FG instead of a TD, which is not smart when your FG can be constistently outkicked by a yard gnome.

I think Chip Kelly was wearing lip gloss in the post game conference—dollying up himself for Mark May.

None of my sports fantasies ever become realities. For instance, I was hoping that the NFL lockout would result in a canceled season, and God would convince Colt McCoy to join the Marines, then get fragged by his own platoon at Fort Sill.

Browns vs. Jaguars — an epic battle for the ages between two teams going nowhere.

Vikings had it first and two and ran a reverse — for a huge loss. Good to know thw Browns are the only retarded team in the NFL.

Browns on the Red Zone — guess what that mean — the Jags are driving!

The coronation of Joe Flacco as a great NFL QB was premature.

Another quarter without a TD for the Browns. Meanwhile, Gabbard is starting to dissect the Browns. TD Jags. Comeback McCoy is on deck. Fans are booing profusely as a 7-0 lead is insurmountable.

Edit — the booing was because the Jags RB emulated Sir LeBron’s poweder routine. Suddenly, Browns fans have what they desperately crave — a villian to make them forget how lousy the team is.

Week 11 is shaping up to be the week of the turnover.

Colt McCoy’s QB rating so far today is a 66.9, which is very bad, but much better than Phipp’s career average.

Cross country skiing in the activity of the criminally insane.

Browns TD! The long, national nightmare is over. Let’s have a parade. McCoy’s QB rating for the game lept to 90.0 on that drive. The maturation of a rookie always brings tears to my eyes.

The Bills’ season is dying a painful death. Their collapse is so final that Congress should petition giving the city to Canada.

Going into today’s game, the Browns had lost every coin toss this season, more proof that God intensely dislikes Cleveland.

McCoy gets sacked to stall a drive. Browns just took points off the board, then jump offsides on first down. Holding on second down. Kick the FG now. Too late. INT on third down.

Lions are roaring back.

Kellen Winslow Jr. just received an offensive pass interference call for being alive. Finally, the football gods are balancing the ledgers.

Colt McCoy TD pass. Resilency is a key to greatness.

Suddenly, Joe Flacco is alive. Nothing would make me happier than the Bengals losing the rest of their games — well, maybe the Steelers losing the rest of their games.

Dawson just missed a FG — or did he? Officials say yes; Dawson says no. Perhaps the fans can throw some bottles to show their displeasure.

4th and one and the Browns defense jumps offsides to allow the first down and stop the clock. 3rd and ten and pass interference on Hayden. Cleveland PD on riot watch.

Browns win. Andrew Luck will not be coming to Cleveland — nor will Santa Claus or the Job Fairy.

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