The stat geeks scored when Brad Pitt was cast to play Billy Beane in Moneyball, and now the scouts are going to get Dirty Harry to portray one of them. Clint Eastwood is set to star in Trouble With the Curve, a story about an old scout on his last legs. At first, I thought this was some sort of joke — “Get your spreadsheets off my infield and put them back in your mother’s basement whee they belong!” There is a strong likelihood that this could be an excellent movie, but the comic possibilities of a Dirty Harry type playing a scout wanting to seek vengeance on the stat heads are almost limitless.
Scout: “Here is your five tool suppository, nerd.” (drops scouting report on desk)
Stat Geek: “What?”
Scout: “I said stick in your ass. This kid can hit, throw, run, field, and has pop in his in bat. I don’t care what your W/K totals say.”
In other news, the White Sox named Robin Ventura as their manager. I guess Vanilla Ice wasn’t available. “How To Get Your Ass Beat When You Charge The Mound” will be one of the first lessons Ventura teaches his team in Spring Training. “Nolan Ryan” chants will haunt the White Sox on all road trips this season.
Dead Religions 