Ouch — 0-3 yesterday (Yankees, Braves, and Giants’ total), staring this exercise at -405. Sabathia continued his woes against Boston (Cy Young my ass), and Hanson pitched like Li’l Bobby’s source about his penchant for cocaine is correct. Perhaps he was doing lines during the rain delay. Meanwhile, both pitchers were on in San Francisco, so that total was a bridge too far.
An inexperienced or undisciplined gambler would try to get all those losses back with a fell swoop of recklessness, but I will stay the course. I like Seattle and Hernandez at +105 today versus the Angels and Santana. Hernandez is coming off a bad start, and he rarely has two bad starts in a row. I also like the Brewers and Grienke at -170 against the pitiful Astros, who are fielding a very bad AAA team these days. I like the Indians’ total (9.5) going over because Tomlin is a gas can, plus the Indians’ offense has been rejuvenated with bad ass Jason Kipness. Umpire D.J Reyburn hasn’t been around long enough to have a good sample size, and even though he is trending so far as a pitcher’s umpire, that won’t help Tomlin.
Cleveland over 9.5 for -110
Season Total -405
Yesterday was a drinking day at my bar in my backyard for Li’l Bobby (aka the Aerodynamic Cue Ball) and me. I hit the brown booze pretty early in the day once I found out the Giants’ game was blacked out in Los Angeles so the damn Yankees/Red Sox rivalry could pollute my fair region. Drinking whiskey in the afternoon usually bubbles my creative juices, and yesterday was no exception.
The MLB Network was on one of the TVs, and a show about two guys traveling to every MLB ballpark was on. It really didn’t hold my interest because I knew that my travels were a helluva lot more interesting that these two guys. When Li’l Bobby professed he didn’t know who Vic Power was, a juggernaut of creative insight almost knocked me to my knees. I should have my own reality television show in which I travel across the land in a large van filled with coolers of beer with seven other friends, rehashing old baseball arguments that refuse to die.
Of course, some of the Jackalopes would be part of the trip, but I have many more friends than those degenerates, so the cast would not be limited to them. In fact, limiting the cast would be one of the hardest aspects of the show 9the other being ensuring the cast remains sober enough to make it to the games). The only way to appease my friends who did not make the cut would be guest appearances by those not in the main cast. Here is a brief description of the cast for Season One:
Myself — no explanation needed
Li’l Bobby — I have been to more baseball games with him than anyone on the planet. His drunken argument with JamesEarl about the merits of Phil Simms versus Brett Favre is still the funniest sports arguments of all time.
JamesEarl — the most refined of the bunch. He would add a dignity to make the show have enduring power — plus he is Bobby’s straight man, and he was part of the original Vic Power argument, which was the impetus for this show.
NotSam (John) — a Jackalope (the Ruggedly Handsome Snow Plow Driver) who initiated the Vic Power argument so long ago at Angels’ Stadium. Whether he gets all of us killed at each game would be one of the show’s subplots.
The Yard Gnome (Kenneth) — the master of self destruction in the Jackalopes. The initiator of absurd arguments, and the guy who used to unsucessfully try to drink a gallon of milk in an hour (part of the pilot).
Sir Jolters (Eric) — Kenneth’s foil and protector of Buddy Bell’s reputation.
Black 47 (Danny) — my brother who remains silent around me, but is a garrulous madman when I am not around. His battles with stadium ushers will be another hysterical subplot.
Finna (Jon) — the Jackalope who was left behind and designated navigator of the trip.
Reese — the uninitiated golfing buddy who has no idea what he just got himself into.
Guests of Season One: Miles, Rhoken, and Oz.
The pilot episode would start with Li’l Bobby attempting the gallon of milk in an hour thing (he swears it can’t be too hard). Once he is done retching, we’d be on the road, re-opening the never ending “Was Buddy Bell overrated?” debate. Of course, due to the coarse language, this show would have to air on HBO or Showtime. I am sure I will be hearing from their executives any day now.