What If?

The Cleveland Indians current promotional campaign is to show highlights of the current season, most from April and May, asking “What If” those highlight hadn’t happened. This campaign is the sick bastard child of the earlier campaign that asked “What If?” a series of highlights throughout Indians history had never happened. The premise of the new campaign is that this is a magical season, and we the fans should be a part of it. Pretty heady stuff for a team one game above .500.

A more telling “What If?” campaign with the appropriate video would be as follows:

What if the Indians had been able to draft and develop any sort of major league positional player talent over the past decade? Ben Francisco waving from the clubhouse shitter would suffice as the video.

What if Manny Acta hadn’t been seduced by veteran presence and batted Orlando Cabrera too high in the order all season long? A smattering of Cabrera 261 outs in a Tribe uniform could grace the screen (Cabrera only needed seven pitches to go hitless in three plate appearances in his Giants’ debut today).

What if Chris Antonetti had supplied this team with a bench? A still shot of Austin Kearns’ ears would be the only video needed.

What if the Cleveland Indians starters not named Justin Masterson weren’t gas cans? Footage from Pearl Harbor would be appropriate.

What if Alex White hadn’t hurt his finger? Pete Rose flattening Ray Fosse would work as the video.

What if Brandon Phillips hadn’t pissed in Eric Wedge’s Corn Flakes? A Phillips home run trot in Red’s uniform video.

What if the evil spirit of Ryan Garko had not possessed Matt LaPorta’s body? Linda Blair video.

On another note, I have been receiving furious texts from Dodgers’ fans moaning about Trayvon Robinson being moved, as if he were the next superstar because of his AAA numbers this season. I say look at the 43 unintentional walks and 122 Ks thi syear. The guy has struck out 697 times in 668 minor league games while only walking 267 times. Guys like that get almost always carved up in the majors, and Robinson’s plate discipline is getting worse, not better. John Sickels of Minorleagueball.com wrote of Robinson, “He’ll take walks and knows how to work a count, but scouts say he sometimes sells out his hitting approach for power, which has worked in Triple-A but might cause problems once major league pitchers see him a few times.”

In other words, he was the Andy Marte of Albuquerque. That being said, the Dodgers didn’t much in return for him. Juan Rodriguez is the only one with bona fide major league talent, and he is a reliever.

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