Pirates Fall From First

Well, that didn’t last long. Cancel the parade and return to the normally scheduled routine in Pittsburgh.

The Cleveland Indians lost Saturday also, which made Indians GM Chris Antonetti ecstatic. “A ten game losing streak would really help this club’s overall plan,” said Antonetti over a post game dinner of lemons. “Hanging around first place in this division of underachievers is threatening our goal to be able to unload the little Major League talent we still have. How else are going to stock our minor with marginal prospects? Certainly not the draft — we suck at that. Ideally, this team needs to tank and drop to third or fourth place by the trade deadline. If that happens, there will be no fan outrage when I move Hafner for a couple of guys who aren’t even to AA yet. Choo’s injury deprived us of some tantalizing trade bait, and Larry Dolan’s man crush on Grady Sizemore means I can’t move him. To parphrase Gordon Gekko, ” The point is, ladies and gentleman, that losing, for lack of a better word, is good. Losing is right, losing works. Losing clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Losing, in all of its forms; has marked the upward surge of mankind. And losing, you mark my words, will not only save the Cleveland Indians, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.”

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