Friday Night Drunks

It’s Friday, and Bobby and I are drinking, watching the Angels’ game because not much else is on. Thoughts so far:

The Angels announcers suck. Free Rex Hudler! These new asshats are fawning over the Angels’ Rally Monkey Chia Pet promotion. We jus had a ten minute argument on the proper spelling of chia pet. Bobby thought it was “gia pet.” Do you see what I have to deal with?

Bobby is still demanding that Pennslyvania Little League coach be fired for having three guys thrown out at the plate. That was when we started drinking — a long time ago.

Angels’ announcers just said Vladdy was a definite first ballot HOFer. Lobotomies should be painful.

We watched the Pittsburgh Pirates behave like the Penn. LL team (shit like happens when you make Daily Picks). We could smell the stink of desperation through the TV.

Bobby just informed me that we were at The Catch the night Howie Kendrick was called up to the majors. Who knew? I bet that is one of those things that gets you into heaven.

Shots! We just drank them. Hunter goes yard. Again. Root beer vodka has a pleasant aftertaste.

I am tired of the Sopranos guy’s tequila commercials. Bobby never watched that show, so he didn’t know the guy was semi famous.

Bobby just caught himself making fun of a breast cancer public service announcement. Saint fucking Bobby.

Jamile Weeks jusy missed a tag of a guy in the basepath. Bobby wants to know why Weeks doesn’t spell his first name like Jamaal Wilkes or Jamal Anderson.

Mark Gubicza is the Angels’ color guy. Victor Rios is the play by play. We can’t decide which guy is trying harder to pretend they are white.

Mike Trout just hit his first major league HR. We saw it — more getting into heaven shit.

Bobby just said I need a bottle opener on the wall (I have three on the bar). Bobby drinks Coors’ Light. I asked him why he needed a bottle opener — he said for his Coke bottle when he wants a Jack and Coke.

Shots!

A’s game over. Padres on the other TV now. The Padres are the most boring team in baseball history – -better than watching NFL preseason replays though.

Rodney in for the Angels — quick four pitch walk. Bobby insists that if Rodney wore his hat straight, he’d throw strikes. Bobby just used the word “askew” in a sentence. Rodney is sporting a beard that would make Eric Wedge forget about Casey Blake.

Harold Reynolds just said that Ken Griffey Jr. lost three years of his MLB career to high school. Funny shit.

DeWayne Wise is still playing in the majors. Austin Kearns must be pissed.

MLB Network highlights on now. Josh Tomlin must die.

Why was it Elvis night in Pittsburgh? That is creepy.

Shots!