Game Notes from last night:
Mike Trout Bobblehead Night – only 1500 bobble heads are being distributed, so the line is around the stadium. First really big crowd of the season. Season ticket holders are allowed in early to secure bobblehead and get food before the concession lines grow. Membership has it privileges.
Whiskey Jack made it official and bought season tickets tonight. The Beer Rebellion has begun.
Ran into the GM before the game. He still seems a little bent from the Lotrimin incident last week. Look, Dude, just because I said I would have your job one day once the reality show took off doesn’t mean I will have it TONIGHT. We can still be friends, and I will let you come to the new Redlands stadium. You will have to buy your own ticket though.
The masses are rolling in, meaning the regular gates must now be open. Hey Peasants! I am on my second beer.
66er players are presenting the Fan Code of Conduct on the big screen – they are all wearing ridiculous animal hats. If they refuse to take the Code of Conduct seriously, how can I be expected to follow THE RULES?
Season ticket holder next to me is also Lake Elsinore Storm season ticket holder – he is in his mid 50’s and brought a glove. Unless he is getting in the game, we are going to have problems.
Best thing about our seats in the waitress comes to us, which skirts the California state law forbidding beer vendors selling to people in seats. Take that, Mr. Law Dog!
God, what a mix of fans in this section this year. Bikers, Bible thumpers, hot rodders, senior citizens, scouts, tattoo worshippers, fat people, skinny people, pretty people, lots of ugly people, Jews, Christians, Muslims, atheists, and even black people. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like there are any Irish here.
This is a perfect night for baseball. When the weather is this splendid, dark thoughts begin creeping into my head – dark thought like chasing Bernie with an axe. The Bug will be avenged!
The Bankruptcy Series continues. Stockton versus Berdoo.
GLORY! Diving play by the 66er SS. His name doesn’t matter because GLORY will be fleeting with his kid.
Almost a sellout tonight. Lots of First Timers — people attending their first game of the season.
The 66ers honor veterans by playing Sammy Hagar while the veteran stands on the dugout. That is torture. WAR CRIMES.
Beer Batter is up. 0-2 count. Foul out to catcher. The fans groan. Nice to know where everyone’s loyalties are. Cheap beer!
Home Run. Ports. CARNAGE. Shania Twain “You Don’t Impress Me Much” comes on. Fuck Canada. Fuck Mutt Lange.
Off day pitchers charting pitches on tablets. This is the 21st Century, Baby.
Aaron Shipman is batting. Celine Dion’s Titanic comes over the PA. God, I love these people.
Bobby Crocker is up and they play… CAKE! We are subliminal here.
Injury delay… “Kasmir” is on.
The beer is flowing in this section now. FLOWING.
Jack wants me to get a Maple Leaf tattoo. I am not sure why.
The 66er Dance Girls are whipping the crowd into a frenzy with “YMCA”. Those saucy wenches.
Sound The Horn!
66er gets hurt — the organist plays “Iron Man.” That is right – the 66er have a DJ and an organist because that is the way they roll. I still don’t have wi-fi access though. Fuckers.
Abel Baker, a Repeat Offender, is up. He is batting .053. CARNAGE, as in new profession soon.
Beer batter is up again! Doesn’t strike out (again). The anger from the crowd is something one can touch. If only there were a word for that – like PALPABLE.
Sports Watch contest was obviously fixed tonight (one side of the stadium tries to outshout the other). Who slept with Bernie?
A hot rodder just told me to cruise or die. Okay, then. Life is a dichotomy.
The Sappington Stare Down. Fucking Awesome. Better than Cake or Pie. No wonder they gave this guy a bobblehead night. Mark Joseph Sappington is a AA pitcher that was here last year. He has the bro personality of a Nick Swisher or Brett Lawrie, but Sappington somehow pulls it off as cool. Anyway, even though that hyper fucker is pitching in Arkansas this season, he has a hysterical ad on the big screen about his big night. After the ad, his video persona has a stare down with a contestant on the dugout with hilarious results. I hope this is a THING this season
The Dance Girls are sultry now. SULTRY. This is a family environment, not a strip club, girls. My son is at an impressionable age! So I am for that matter.
Josh, the dude in charge of season ticket sales, is running around in an full orange body suit. I guess he has watched [em]The Watchmen[/em] too may times and thinks he is Rorschach. Now there is a female one in blue. I am pretty sure she has had breast augmentation. They are doing something on opposite dugouts to promote a Rally Inning. I have had too much beer to figure out this lunacy. The rally doesn’t happen. Josh and Blue Spandex have failed. 66ers lose. Time to go shoplift at the team store.
Dead Religions 